So, some of you may know I am part of a science fiction/fantasy book club for the last 4 and a half years.  It is truly one of the better things in my life and the people in the group are dear to me in a low of ways.  So we get together every two weeks and discuss the next "book". 

So this last time it was my turn to choose.  Now I had this stack of fantasy novels that I have not read yet, and thought this would be a good time to read one.  The problem is that we have a 600 page limit on the books or we bump the meeting two three weeks, instead of two.  I like to avoid this if I can, but it has happened quite a few times in the past. 

So I stood there looking at my stack of books, I want to read, and chose the one that was closest to 600 pages.  Mostly so we would not have to bump the meeting back a week.  The book I chose was Across the Face of the World by Russell Kirkpatrick. 

Oh my god.  What a mistake.  What a huge, awful, mistake.  

I am a fan of epic fantasy.  I love the good vs evil aspect of it, and especially how good usually triumphs.  It appeals to my optomistic nature and is my favorite genre to read.

This novel?  It sucked on so many levels.  The only good thing i could say about it was the fact that it was at least a quick read.  I have met people that have have not read fantasy, and they tend to have made assumptions about how the novels in the genre are.  Especially, how poorly written and cliched they think the genre is.  Well, this books was everything those people thought the genre would be and more. 

This book angered me.  It actually left such a bad taste in my mouth, that I don't want to read fantasy for a bit.  It was THAT bad.  I mean this novel was so bad, the genre may not recover.  It forced me to buy a really awful looking horror/dark fantasy novel called Dark Rain by Tony Richards, just to get the taste out o my mouth.

Ok, I exaggerate (only a little though), but that is how bad this book. 

Key points.
1.  Fantasy pet peeve #1.  Cliched villian.  Name of the Undying Man.  God, how boring is that?  Nothing original about the villian, he is just EVIL.  That is how the book started.
2.  Fantasy pet peeve #2.  Authors feeling like they need to be creative and create their own words for things.  This is an actual list of names from the book.  Aigelstrommen, Haufuth, Fanajokull, Mjolkbridge, Torrelstrommen, Fernthicket, Derkskogen, Drozzakalvan, Geotakalvan, Nordviken.   Are you kidding me?  
3.  Spent more time on the maps of the world than the writing.  Found out later he was a cartographer, and can only hope he goes back to doing that soon.
4.  I have never come across a band of heroes that I cared less about their plight.  I seriously hoped they would get killed by an avalanche or something, just so I could stop reading.  Horrible characerization.
5.  Also no plot.  They started out having to "warn" those on high about an invasion, and instead went chasing after their parents that were kidnapped.  I get that, but it was long and tedious.  Not to mention when they finally  rescued their parents, one of the children god kidnapped by a different group and that sent the book on a second rescue attempt.  So, first 2/3 of book was resucing parents, then last 1/3 was rescuing Leith.  Great movement of plot there.
6.  Token female in party.  Nothing interesting about her.  Really selfish and very annoying.  But then she all of a sudden gets very brave and nice.  Didn't make sense.  That is just one example of how most of the characters were.  Also, I wish someone would have killed Farr.  He was verry annoying. 
7.  Awful writing.  God, awful writing.\
8.  Setting was not intersesting.  Only thought there could be a few ways to describe snow.  Appararently I was wrong.  This author did it about 24 different ways.  
9.  So, to date.  No characterization or mentiionable dialogue, bad and boring plot, awful writing, no setting, and just general disinterest about their plight.  It take a special kind of writing to be this bad at everything.  

There you go.  The worst novel in the history of fantasy.